Something scares me more than words can say. It has terrified me since I was in my early teens. This is turning out like my mother. For those of you who read my diary and know nothing about me, my mother is a drunk who is mentally unstable at the best of times. She abuses my sisters constantly now, and did so to me, for the smallest abberration. However, the reason she does this (in basic psych) is because she is unsure of herself, and feels like a victim in the world.

Sometimes I feel this way. Irrationaly angry, like the world owes me something. Whenever I fail at something I feel like just giving up, staying on the dole and being a stupid fat slut the rest of my life. This side of me terrifies the other (bigger) side of me, which wants so much to a success.

I realise this makes me sound like a total bitch towards my mother, but I still love her, no matter how fucked in the head she is. She just needs to realise the world owes her nothing. As do I.

Okay, Im done now. :)

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